Shit but Sweet

No shit what sweet. But I got my shit what sweet in this case.

I have too many things to do these fucking busy days. Yeah, too many. Let's make a list. (Oh, how I miss a list!)

1. School
2. Tests
3. Tasks
4. Homeworks
5. Lessons outside school
6. Some HOME works (my last maid quits. Poor.)

Well, maybe it's just a SIX-LIST. But when you go on your life with that SIX-LIST, you'll feel terrible. Yeah, it's terrible enough for me now. And those are what I call it shits.

Don't say : "Well, college life is more suck than yours". "Work is worse." "Unemployee is nothing terrible comparing to yours." NO NO NO ! Please don't say any comment or words what comparing my lists to yours. It's different.

First, UNFORTUNATELY, I'm just a messy, silly, 17 years old girl. I've never felt college life, working to earn money, nor being you. It's just my list, my business, and my terrible days.

I know, when life's moving on, everything will be worse and messier. But for me now, my days are unstoppable, even for making up my dirty and untidy room !

Back to the topic. These shits, I mean, these routine isn't killing me like usual. I feel it sweet. I really feel like I'm in a tournament. If I fall, I'll fail. If I keep running, I'll win. It's conditionals and depends on me. I love it. Really.

That's my first "REASON". The second reason is, I've been being so sweet in school. I do every tasks, well done in every single tests, and I got my schedule messy but still OK. I feel like I'm living. Idk, when was the last time you feel as your dream and your future went along together and you're near to it.. It's my opinion and wishes now :)

Quotes Of Another Day

"A teacher is able to bring someone to join a class.
But not each teacher is able to make a class learn,
even if only one of them."
"Seorang guru bisa membawa seseorang masuk ke dalam sebuah kelas.
Tetapi tidak semua guru bisa membuat sebuah kelas belajar,
bahkan apabila hanya satu diantara mereka."

These words according to what was Hellen Keller's said. It's just a little remake of mine.
If you couldn't find any worth teacher for you, you have to start being a teacher for yourself.
Whereas if you can't make yourself study, how others would?

What is tomorrow.

Last night, I was hesitating about things in my life when I couldn't fall asleep for hours. It's really tiring to wondering something that I don't know how to do either.

I was wondering if I couldn't meet someone who move my heart softly.
I was wondering if I couldn't be succeed and let her parents proud, even less for making herself proud.
And how about if everything I've arranged and dreamt is failed then I'll be nothing.

I don't know what will come tomorrow. It's mystery. I don't know how to make myself precious either. It's a way that I couldn't see. And I don't know whatever in case of tomorrow. I'll just walking by and trying to do my best. Whatever it will turn out in the end, everyone should believe their own intuition, right?

The Sweetest Thing Of Jealousy

Well. Like what I've written before about jealousy. Today's theme isn't going over yet. It's still about jealousy and what I got from this "damn-feeling". Hehe.

It's a simple one. I think I learned too much when I was in the middle of wanting other's ownership or privilege. And it's sweet, you know. It's sweet when I realized that I should run now for having what I wanted. It's sweet when I knew that I'm willing to do my best to have such as others. And It's sweet when I had a goal !

More over, the sweetest one is :

I will keep everything carefully much more
or
I will take chances as well as possible much more.
Because it was hard to get that, I'll do my best to make it useful when I had it eventually.

So, why should we dodge if it would turn good when you let yourself work ?

You should start comparing then work for willing better !

Why Jealous and How To Fight It?

I don't know why I should cry today and let myself under pressure. It's the most stupid thing along this holiday weeks. And I regret it so much.

Well, some people said, "Planted jealousy means you will suicide yourself soon."
I agreed. Jealousy is one of that damn things who always come to our mind. Who's never? I don't believe if someone tell me that he/she never have this feeling. Well, we talk about normal people, right? Normal people always comparing between theirs and someone else's. It stupid, but it's like a natural law. People compete to win everything in this life. It's NORMALLY NORMAL.

If we win this or that or these or those competition, everything will be alright.
How about if we lost? We failed? Or how about if I LOST? How about if whatever I arranged is FAILED? Will the competition ended by the JEALOUSY?

Some people say YES.
And unfortunately, I'm one who answered that "YES".

Jealous hurts so much. It will make your day turned unwell. When it's happening, what would we do? Don't find any answer yet? Then, this is my answer.

I MOTIVATE MYSELF TO HAVE BETTER, TO REACH HIGHER, TO BE THE BEST.

Unfortunately, that's the only way. I can't fight my jealousy. It will grow faster and higher. Then I know I have to win the things I've been jealous to and catch the best for me. Why? Because I need to win.

And I'll try to do my best, to win it someday. SOMEDAY.
I'll learn much more than everyone did.
I'll do better than everyone tried.
I'll struggle harder than everyone fought on.
I will. Someday. Reach everything. I wish...

Inspirational Song From Lenka

Live Like You're Dying

One of these days you'll be under the covers
You'll be under the table and you'll realize
That all of your days are numbered, all of them one to one hundred
All of them millions, all of them trillions

So what are you gonna do with them all?
You can not trade them in for more, no, no
Take every moment, you know that you own them
It's all you can do, use what's been given to you

Gimme a reason to fight the feeling
That there's nothing here for me
'Cause none of it's easy, I know it wasn't meant to be
I know it's all up to me, it's all up to me

All of the moments you didn't notice gone in the blink of an eye
And all of the feelings you can't help feeling no matter how you try

Live like you're dying and never stop trying
It's all up to you, use what's been given to you

Satu diantara hari-hari ini kamu akan berada di balik topeng dan tabel-tabel rutinitas. Semuanya penuh dengan kepalsuan dan kepenatan. Sampai kamu akan sadar bahwa hidupmu itu terhitung. Satu hari hingga seratus hari, sejuta, hingga 1 trilyun.

Lalu apa yang akan kamu lakukan pada hari-harimu itu. Kamu tidak akan pernah bisa mengulang atau bahkan menukarnya. Maka manfaatkanlah setiap waktumu, kamu tau kalau itu milikmu. Itu satu-satunya yang bisa kamu lakukan, melakukan hal-hal berdasarkan apa yang telah diberikan kepadamu.

Kita hanya butuh satu alasan, bahwa di tempatmu sekarang ini sudah tidak ada lagi yang tersisa dan dapat kamu lakukan. Kamu harus beranjak dan berusaha mencari hal untuk mengembangkan dirimu. Carilah. Tidak ada yang mudah di dunia ini, semua kesulitan memiliki maknanya masing-masing. Tapi semuanya tergantung kepadamu. Tergantung kepada usahamu.

Semua dari waktu-waktu tersebut akan hilang sekejap mata dan kamu hanya tidak menyadari itu. Dan semua perasaan tidak akan menolongmu untuk mengalahkan perasaan itu. Yang ada justru semakin memperparah keadaan ketidakyakinan perasaanmu.

Hiduplah seperti kau sedang sekarat dan akan segera meninggal. Jangan pernah berhenti mencoba. Itu semua tergantung padamu, menggunakan apa yang telah diberikan kepadamu.

This song always able to encourage me to get up and try.
Hope it will affect you, too :)

H.O.W

I believe that there are 2 meaning in a word "HOW".
It is How Or Why.

I believe those words are interrelated. They both influence me, and some people who realize it, to live life (i'm sure about it. this is my story, remember?).

(K, ignore those words. It's just an example and an epic thing. Haha. Back to the topic :D)
How can 2 question words could affect my life?
Why it could be?

See that?
If there's HOW question, it will be followed by WHY question. Or vice versa, anyway.
My survey said, everyone who know how, they know why. And someone who doesn't know how, he doesn't know why. It's like a dependency that people always want to know both why and how.

Life isn't as easy as the quotes said. But it's as easy as what your mind set you to be. When your mind told you that you cant, so will you.

Therefore, who set your mind?
Yeah, it's YOU !

SO ! Whenever you don't know why, try to arrange a PLAN. So you could let yourself find a REASON why you do the "HOW" things. A REASON means you know WHY or WHY YOU SHOULD? And if you stuck in middle of your way, search a REASON. Then your spirit will be maximum charged to take steps ahead.

BUT, how about if you cant find neither A REASON nor A PLAN? Just settle down, and set your mind once again. In this case, you're the one who MUST motivate yourself.

PS : The most effective solution is arrange a PLAN "HOW" then you found the REASON "WHY". (Because I'm the girl who believe that there will be WHY after a WHY. Its a never-ending question.)

You may trust this or ignore this,
there are always two sides in a story
IT'S MY STORY - sixtyvix :)

Time Follower

(Pengikut waktu)

Adakah manusia yang diciptakan hanya untuk menjadi pengikut waktu? Berjalan searah dengan kemana roda waktu membawanya. Bergulir bersama dengan roda yang tak kenal berbagi.

Adakah manusia yang diciptakan hanya untuk menjadi pengikut waktu? Yang tak pernah bermimpi untuk melakukan sesuatu setelah atau bahkan sebelum wakut mendahuluinya. Yang tak pernah memiliki inisiatif untuk menjadi lebih daripada waktu menempanya.

"Is It ME?"
I hope it isn't
But unfortunately
HALF of TIME FOLLOWER's characteristic is
ME

Ada beberapa orang yang mengetahui caranya bermimpi, tapi tidak pernah tahu caranya mengembangkan mimpinya tersebut. Yang ia tahu hanya berusaha, tapi berusaha sampai mana? Dan usaha seperti apa lagi?

Saya adalah satu di antara orang-orang tersebut.
Tak memiliki arah.

Pengikut waktu.
Saya mencoba mengikuti waktu. Beberapa alasan ;
Saya takut kecewa, saya takut gagal, saya takut sakit, saya takut menjadi tak berguna, saya takut tak bisa menjadi apa pun, dan karena saya takut.
Jadi saya tidak pernah memikirkan cara untuk mencapai target saya. Saya hanya terfokus pada target saya. SATU target, dan saya tahu Tuhan beserta saya untuk mencapai target saya tersebut. Jadi saya tidak menyusun seribu perahu untuk mengantar saya jika saya bisa berenang dan mungkin bisa saja suatu hari akan sampai pada titik target saya itu.

Tetapi lalu setelah saya berpikir lagi, apa mereka yang merencanakan itu selalu sukses? Apa mereka yang menyusun tabel demi tabel kehidupan itu akan sukses? Mungkin YA. Tapi apakah saya berada di salah satu kemungkinan "YA" tersebut?

Lalu saya kembali kehilangan arah.
Haruskah berjalan tanpa rencana, atau HARUS ADA rencana?

Hidup terasa melelahkan. Bahkan menimbang-nimbang pun seakan tidak cukup layak untuk menemukan kepastian. Hanya satu yang saya yakin PASTI.

Suatu hari nanti semua ketidakpastian akan berakhir.
Entah kapan.
Ikuti saja waktu.

PLUS PLUS,
Tessie Setiabudi, M.A, MBA.
Salah satu pembicara dalam sebuah seminar Training for Excelence berkata
"Fokuskan target anda kemudian loncatlah. Tidak perlu pedulikan berapa kali anda butuh meloncat atau bagaimana anda meloncat? Loncatlah secepat dan sejauh yang anda bisa sebelum waktu anda habis hanya untuk berpikir"

"Tetap berkarya dan jangan lengah"

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Look, there's no quotes said "PLAN YOUR SUCCESS". So, am I right ?
Still wondering anyway ;)