Mengapa Malu Menjadi Indonesia

Bertahan tak pernah mudah
Hanya mendamba keberanian untuk maju
Mimpi tak berujung
Seolah perbedaan menjadi tembok penghalang

Siapa aku?
Menapak di atas tanah manis yang diasingkan
Justru menghina bangsa ini
Untuk apa aku disini
Jika bumi yang kupijak tak bisa kuindahkan

Demi Tuhan, siapa bangsa ini?
Dibangun di atas darah
Berdiri di bawah semangat
Tapi kini hidup di samping kemunafikan

Jika Indonesia hanya sebuah nama
Maka tubuh ini hanya tulang berbungkus daging
Tapi Indonesia adalah harapan
Karena akulah pemuda

Sedikit janji, sedikit harapan, sedikit mimpi, dengan masa depan besar
Bagi mereka yang tulang dan darahnya dirajut semangat untuk Indonesia

Miracle's On The Way

I've been searching for something in this life.
I'm still thinking about something vague.
I'll be something for this world.
Something I don't even know.
Something I still wondering what it is.

But I knew, God made me for one, or maybe million, small thing.
But I knew, God let me FIND those small things.
But I knew, God arrange my way.
No doubt, I really believe he sent me miracle all the time. I just didn't realize it.

What happened, what's happening, and what will happen, I dont care. As long as I know I'm still living and being me. I'll ready to make a brighter future because God said so about human that we are created for one mission, develop this world until it's being greater and more promisable to be lived.

I curious sometimes, what's in my head? I'm changing all the time. My mood is going up and down fast. Throw me to the fact that I'm just human. I make sins. I do bad things. But still, I'm the absolute owner of my life until I die someday.

People, you know you worth to be living. Why punish yourself for being nothing. For having a thing, there should be nothing. Be good and try to be better. There's no punishment for living. There's just punishment for them who live disgusting.

I want to be good, better, and be someone someday somewhere somehow I ready to be, according to God's plan.

Shit but Sweet

No shit what sweet. But I got my shit what sweet in this case.

I have too many things to do these fucking busy days. Yeah, too many. Let's make a list. (Oh, how I miss a list!)

1. School
2. Tests
3. Tasks
4. Homeworks
5. Lessons outside school
6. Some HOME works (my last maid quits. Poor.)

Well, maybe it's just a SIX-LIST. But when you go on your life with that SIX-LIST, you'll feel terrible. Yeah, it's terrible enough for me now. And those are what I call it shits.

Don't say : "Well, college life is more suck than yours". "Work is worse." "Unemployee is nothing terrible comparing to yours." NO NO NO ! Please don't say any comment or words what comparing my lists to yours. It's different.

First, UNFORTUNATELY, I'm just a messy, silly, 17 years old girl. I've never felt college life, working to earn money, nor being you. It's just my list, my business, and my terrible days.

I know, when life's moving on, everything will be worse and messier. But for me now, my days are unstoppable, even for making up my dirty and untidy room !

Back to the topic. These shits, I mean, these routine isn't killing me like usual. I feel it sweet. I really feel like I'm in a tournament. If I fall, I'll fail. If I keep running, I'll win. It's conditionals and depends on me. I love it. Really.

That's my first "REASON". The second reason is, I've been being so sweet in school. I do every tasks, well done in every single tests, and I got my schedule messy but still OK. I feel like I'm living. Idk, when was the last time you feel as your dream and your future went along together and you're near to it.. It's my opinion and wishes now :)

As A Daughter, I REALLY Love You.

Sometimes I hate the way I think about my parents. While I never try to realize how strong they survive to make me being " someone" someday. I angry to them. I hate them. I talk behind them. Then what? Hurt them? Yeah, I did.

Sometimes I realize how bad my thoughts.But I just cannot change it. It insists me to be as I want to be. Worse, I let it grow in my life casually. Again, YEAH, casually.

I realize that Mom hold me close to her. Either my daddy does. But they try to figure out what am I and who I am. They let me free to arrange everything in my life. Still, I keep begging to get more from them. Even though they hardly give it to me, but still they manage to fulfill my wishes.

Well, I'm just a daughter whom figure an actor as a daddy is cool. I'm just a daughter whom think a fashionable mom is great. I'm just a girl whom think money could buy everything. I'm just a girl whom hate the rules and requirement. I'm just a girl whom wanna success without any work. Stupid.

Once, I found myself crying out loud in the night. Just because of broken heart.
Once, I found myself surrender. Just because of my suck school schedule and I failed on it.
Once, I found myself rude and weird. Just because I don't have a glamour life.
Sometimes, I realize how fool I am.
Sometimes, too rarely to happen.
Then I found myself behaving just like how worst I've done.

Dear them who love me since I haven't came to this world yet,
So sorry to make you disappointed many times. So sorry for doing such as a damn-fool girl. So sorry for keep telling that I'm right and you do wrong. So sorry for acting as I AM mature when I AM not. So sorry for let you into my trouble and have the responsible for it.

I just cant stand how I really want to be mature soon. I just cant stand how I want to be MORE when I know I cant. I just cant stand alone. :')

Art Imitates Life

I really believe that art have been imitating human's life for ages. And there's nothing could stop it.
People have an art feeling, even it's just a little pieces of theirs. People choose colors, people choose the arrangements, people choose attitudes just like their style. They made their own taste. They do art, even it's not by a flying color crayon, digital media, or anything art expressing. But they still love to make their own art.

In this case, I'm one who feel this continuity of art. I do blogging and I love fashion. Art is the most inspirational to attach writing on my blog and mix my style of fashion. World's turning, and art cannot be stop.

L must be before F

In alphabetical order, L is after F right? So. sometimes people should break both the rule and the composition of the composition. Let's put L before F. And do by L before you do by F.

L's here means Logic. And F means Feeling. How to order Logic before Feeling when there's no an actual composition. It's just my formula (again), anyway. Don't argue,please? Haha.
Actually, I'm normal girl who uses her feeling more often than her logic. I have brain for sure, but I don't use it frequently. Not only because of my emotion but also because my hormone. *running-away-from-the-responsibility kekekeke.

Mostly, girls always have this habit. Although they do realize,but they just deny the fact. They keep going with her feeling and act like what her emotion control her. Boys, even not as many as girls but they also have this habit sometimes even theory said that hormone of boys control their masculinity, not their femininity. But everyone seemed easy to come across with their intuition of feeling. Who's not?

I've learned many times about this. Could people handle their emotion while everything's going bad? And how to make it real. Nothing's way out. Everything is handled by people itself.

But,actually. It's your wisdom to make your decision between Logic and Feeling. My opinion, L must be the first you choose. Than try to control your F. Dont let F out of your control before you hold the L's theory and practical. Your life must be brighten up. It what I've done, not at all but yeah it helps.

Peace In YOU

I love my days even it's suck.
I got a note book for my mathematics subject and I realized how it meant to me so much :) Wow, you should say that i'm insane for having such an idiot enlightenment from just A BOOK ! Yeah, it's me myb. But it quoted words what said that "PEACE always there in YOU"

I believe IT. I want to believe IT. I try to believe IT.

You should know, how much i love freedom. And you should guess, how big i love it.
I try to be defensive when I say, I love my life. But I really objected if someone said that life is hard. Life is easy, as easy as what you think about it. While you think it's hard, how it come to be. It's easy. The difficulty is how to make yourself think that your life is beautiful in your own way. If you don't care how to be grateful for what you got, and you'll come up with every sorrow and disappointment.

Well, i'm normally normal. That's why I also feel the same way when a disappointment, sorrow, and lost came up into my life. Despite my normality, I should know what was going not so well is just for letting me tougher and mature.

So how's your life going? Do you mess yourself up and make yourself feel worse than how it should be? Or you let yourself up and make everything's better by your prayer and action?

No POST for weeks

I'm so sorry. But I'm really in the hardest time and worst mood ever. I think I'll cease to post for weeks. I hope I'll come back soon :)

Quotes Of Another Day

"A teacher is able to bring someone to join a class.
But not each teacher is able to make a class learn,
even if only one of them."
"Seorang guru bisa membawa seseorang masuk ke dalam sebuah kelas.
Tetapi tidak semua guru bisa membuat sebuah kelas belajar,
bahkan apabila hanya satu diantara mereka."

These words according to what was Hellen Keller's said. It's just a little remake of mine.
If you couldn't find any worth teacher for you, you have to start being a teacher for yourself.
Whereas if you can't make yourself study, how others would?

Back To Routine

This is it. Back To Routine.

I don't know how to say whether I like or not, I'm amazed for going through a month of my holiday miserably. I don't know how to express whether I happy or sad, I'm excited to death for welcoming my last year of school. I don't know anything about my feeling. It doesn't matter if it will be like this just for a moment initially. But from now on, I think I could make a better life of mine.

Why?
**Because I got a very unexpected class for a year
**Because campus life will be welcomed soon !
**Many because, but it was just a small pieces causes. I don't really mind :D

Well, back to the topic.
Another routine. I got a very dense schedule for this year.
School - Private Lessons - Another Private Lessons - School's Suck Things (remember : tasks and tests) - Another Activities - Private Lesson - And Another MORE !
Something that sometimes made me thinking how will I go through all of this routine?
Hmm, no idea. Everything will be fine when you try to be thinking it will :)
Well, I'll try.

I think I should congrate you, anyway..
Welcome to ANOTHER SCHOOL LIFE.
Hope you'll get ANOTHER SCHOOL SWEET MEMORIES.

Well, I've been watching a lot of korean serial drama. A LOT !
And some of them are really great.
So, this collection of dramas will cheer my days up eventually.

What is tomorrow.

Last night, I was hesitating about things in my life when I couldn't fall asleep for hours. It's really tiring to wondering something that I don't know how to do either.

I was wondering if I couldn't meet someone who move my heart softly.
I was wondering if I couldn't be succeed and let her parents proud, even less for making herself proud.
And how about if everything I've arranged and dreamt is failed then I'll be nothing.

I don't know what will come tomorrow. It's mystery. I don't know how to make myself precious either. It's a way that I couldn't see. And I don't know whatever in case of tomorrow. I'll just walking by and trying to do my best. Whatever it will turn out in the end, everyone should believe their own intuition, right?

The Sweetest Thing Of Jealousy

Well. Like what I've written before about jealousy. Today's theme isn't going over yet. It's still about jealousy and what I got from this "damn-feeling". Hehe.

It's a simple one. I think I learned too much when I was in the middle of wanting other's ownership or privilege. And it's sweet, you know. It's sweet when I realized that I should run now for having what I wanted. It's sweet when I knew that I'm willing to do my best to have such as others. And It's sweet when I had a goal !

More over, the sweetest one is :

I will keep everything carefully much more
or
I will take chances as well as possible much more.
Because it was hard to get that, I'll do my best to make it useful when I had it eventually.

So, why should we dodge if it would turn good when you let yourself work ?

You should start comparing then work for willing better !

Why Jealous and How To Fight It?

I don't know why I should cry today and let myself under pressure. It's the most stupid thing along this holiday weeks. And I regret it so much.

Well, some people said, "Planted jealousy means you will suicide yourself soon."
I agreed. Jealousy is one of that damn things who always come to our mind. Who's never? I don't believe if someone tell me that he/she never have this feeling. Well, we talk about normal people, right? Normal people always comparing between theirs and someone else's. It stupid, but it's like a natural law. People compete to win everything in this life. It's NORMALLY NORMAL.

If we win this or that or these or those competition, everything will be alright.
How about if we lost? We failed? Or how about if I LOST? How about if whatever I arranged is FAILED? Will the competition ended by the JEALOUSY?

Some people say YES.
And unfortunately, I'm one who answered that "YES".

Jealous hurts so much. It will make your day turned unwell. When it's happening, what would we do? Don't find any answer yet? Then, this is my answer.

I MOTIVATE MYSELF TO HAVE BETTER, TO REACH HIGHER, TO BE THE BEST.

Unfortunately, that's the only way. I can't fight my jealousy. It will grow faster and higher. Then I know I have to win the things I've been jealous to and catch the best for me. Why? Because I need to win.

And I'll try to do my best, to win it someday. SOMEDAY.
I'll learn much more than everyone did.
I'll do better than everyone tried.
I'll struggle harder than everyone fought on.
I will. Someday. Reach everything. I wish...

Mario Bross

Well. It's my style. So don't argue with me. I love Mario Bross. Really, Really LOVE it. Why do I love him? Uhm, let's make a list ! (Haha. Yeah,it's a list again!)

1. Mario Bross is a plumber!
   The fact about his occupation made me exciting too much ! Why? Because I realized that a plumber could be that famous. I want to have an occupation what will drive me to the success. And I think he's loving his job so much, so I hope I'll be.
   
2. Mario Bross tries to save the princess.
   His job doesn't make a gap between a princess or a plumber. He teaches me how to work hard. And he teaches me how to survive in troubles for getting the final destination.
   
3. Mario Bross's mustache is funny.
   It's a statement. Dont be objected ! It's relative whether it looks stupid or funny. I love it :)
   
4. I love the game since I was 4.

So what? I still love him much more and more. Haha. I dont care if you say i'm either crazy or stupid. I'm fabulous in my own way. And I'm great in Jesus's thought. Surely !

There always two sides in a strory
It's my side and my story !

Lost My Life's Rhymes

Holiday means freedom. Freedom always makes my time went by just like that. I lost every rhymes of my life. I don't know what to do. I don't know whatever I want. Such as I'm just living without any life. Errh.

Whether I was sad or happy. I feel lost. Well, one week to go. I hope I'll be OK and find my way back to my life's rhymes, back to routine and suffering. But, those things could let me feel that I'm alive. Those things let me struggling.

Still, I LOVE HOLIDAY ! Hahaha.

Inspirational Song From Lenka

Live Like You're Dying

One of these days you'll be under the covers
You'll be under the table and you'll realize
That all of your days are numbered, all of them one to one hundred
All of them millions, all of them trillions

So what are you gonna do with them all?
You can not trade them in for more, no, no
Take every moment, you know that you own them
It's all you can do, use what's been given to you

Gimme a reason to fight the feeling
That there's nothing here for me
'Cause none of it's easy, I know it wasn't meant to be
I know it's all up to me, it's all up to me

All of the moments you didn't notice gone in the blink of an eye
And all of the feelings you can't help feeling no matter how you try

Live like you're dying and never stop trying
It's all up to you, use what's been given to you

Satu diantara hari-hari ini kamu akan berada di balik topeng dan tabel-tabel rutinitas. Semuanya penuh dengan kepalsuan dan kepenatan. Sampai kamu akan sadar bahwa hidupmu itu terhitung. Satu hari hingga seratus hari, sejuta, hingga 1 trilyun.

Lalu apa yang akan kamu lakukan pada hari-harimu itu. Kamu tidak akan pernah bisa mengulang atau bahkan menukarnya. Maka manfaatkanlah setiap waktumu, kamu tau kalau itu milikmu. Itu satu-satunya yang bisa kamu lakukan, melakukan hal-hal berdasarkan apa yang telah diberikan kepadamu.

Kita hanya butuh satu alasan, bahwa di tempatmu sekarang ini sudah tidak ada lagi yang tersisa dan dapat kamu lakukan. Kamu harus beranjak dan berusaha mencari hal untuk mengembangkan dirimu. Carilah. Tidak ada yang mudah di dunia ini, semua kesulitan memiliki maknanya masing-masing. Tapi semuanya tergantung kepadamu. Tergantung kepada usahamu.

Semua dari waktu-waktu tersebut akan hilang sekejap mata dan kamu hanya tidak menyadari itu. Dan semua perasaan tidak akan menolongmu untuk mengalahkan perasaan itu. Yang ada justru semakin memperparah keadaan ketidakyakinan perasaanmu.

Hiduplah seperti kau sedang sekarat dan akan segera meninggal. Jangan pernah berhenti mencoba. Itu semua tergantung padamu, menggunakan apa yang telah diberikan kepadamu.

This song always able to encourage me to get up and try.
Hope it will affect you, too :)

Heart for Earth

Watch then Learn.



Even a girl could have an unbelievable speech about earth ! 12 years old, anyway. And why don't we start to be the next one? No, please don't keep watching or wondering. Do something! Whatever it is. Change the future. You're the only one who arrange the next generation's future. Really.

1. Turn off your air conditioner
2. Unplug the power cord which wasn't be used.
3. STOP SMOKING !
4. Travel here and there by no-motor vehicle,more over if you use a hybrid vehicle
5. Love the animals and be sure to save them.
6. Change the habit using plastic bags into paper bags.
and many many mooorreee..
You should check this out !
How To Stop Global Warming
The owner of that blog is a boy who dreaming for a better earth and a better life.

A Little Thing Such A Devil

I've ever wondered about sort of too-high-level things. -About fashion, culinary, traveling, shopping, treatments, salon, make up, technology, anything about modern lifestyle.

Q : Am I into it?
A : Hmm, not really.

Q : But am I want it?
A : YES really, really :x

I cannot stop amazed with a little devil named MONEY. It handles everything in this world, even a man. How can money imprison people like just what happen lately? I don't know, maybe it's the most scary devil I've ever met (even though I've never met one, haha). Looks like money have an ability to measure one's standard. The much money one's had, the more higher their standard. CRAP!

It was sooo epic. Honestly !

I don't love money, for sure. But I need money. Everyone in the world knows and wants money, include me.

Q : When people need money, will them sacrifice anything to get it?
A : Yes, some people will.

Q : But how about us? Can we handle ourself from the attractiveness of money?
A : I cant be until now.

Ehm, I dont know yet how to make it simple. Money messed and will mess up life. There's no way out. The only to-dos are survive and through.

Q : Will high-level things affect to the future?
A : Mostly say YES.

If it occurs, the gap will be mooore visible than today's. And there will be no peace, because everyone try to be "the more richer the more higher" one.
Money has no end.

H.O.W

I believe that there are 2 meaning in a word "HOW".
It is How Or Why.

I believe those words are interrelated. They both influence me, and some people who realize it, to live life (i'm sure about it. this is my story, remember?).

(K, ignore those words. It's just an example and an epic thing. Haha. Back to the topic :D)
How can 2 question words could affect my life?
Why it could be?

See that?
If there's HOW question, it will be followed by WHY question. Or vice versa, anyway.
My survey said, everyone who know how, they know why. And someone who doesn't know how, he doesn't know why. It's like a dependency that people always want to know both why and how.

Life isn't as easy as the quotes said. But it's as easy as what your mind set you to be. When your mind told you that you cant, so will you.

Therefore, who set your mind?
Yeah, it's YOU !

SO ! Whenever you don't know why, try to arrange a PLAN. So you could let yourself find a REASON why you do the "HOW" things. A REASON means you know WHY or WHY YOU SHOULD? And if you stuck in middle of your way, search a REASON. Then your spirit will be maximum charged to take steps ahead.

BUT, how about if you cant find neither A REASON nor A PLAN? Just settle down, and set your mind once again. In this case, you're the one who MUST motivate yourself.

PS : The most effective solution is arrange a PLAN "HOW" then you found the REASON "WHY". (Because I'm the girl who believe that there will be WHY after a WHY. Its a never-ending question.)

You may trust this or ignore this,
there are always two sides in a story
IT'S MY STORY - sixtyvix :)

Time Follower

(Pengikut waktu)

Adakah manusia yang diciptakan hanya untuk menjadi pengikut waktu? Berjalan searah dengan kemana roda waktu membawanya. Bergulir bersama dengan roda yang tak kenal berbagi.

Adakah manusia yang diciptakan hanya untuk menjadi pengikut waktu? Yang tak pernah bermimpi untuk melakukan sesuatu setelah atau bahkan sebelum wakut mendahuluinya. Yang tak pernah memiliki inisiatif untuk menjadi lebih daripada waktu menempanya.

"Is It ME?"
I hope it isn't
But unfortunately
HALF of TIME FOLLOWER's characteristic is
ME

Ada beberapa orang yang mengetahui caranya bermimpi, tapi tidak pernah tahu caranya mengembangkan mimpinya tersebut. Yang ia tahu hanya berusaha, tapi berusaha sampai mana? Dan usaha seperti apa lagi?

Saya adalah satu di antara orang-orang tersebut.
Tak memiliki arah.

Pengikut waktu.
Saya mencoba mengikuti waktu. Beberapa alasan ;
Saya takut kecewa, saya takut gagal, saya takut sakit, saya takut menjadi tak berguna, saya takut tak bisa menjadi apa pun, dan karena saya takut.
Jadi saya tidak pernah memikirkan cara untuk mencapai target saya. Saya hanya terfokus pada target saya. SATU target, dan saya tahu Tuhan beserta saya untuk mencapai target saya tersebut. Jadi saya tidak menyusun seribu perahu untuk mengantar saya jika saya bisa berenang dan mungkin bisa saja suatu hari akan sampai pada titik target saya itu.

Tetapi lalu setelah saya berpikir lagi, apa mereka yang merencanakan itu selalu sukses? Apa mereka yang menyusun tabel demi tabel kehidupan itu akan sukses? Mungkin YA. Tapi apakah saya berada di salah satu kemungkinan "YA" tersebut?

Lalu saya kembali kehilangan arah.
Haruskah berjalan tanpa rencana, atau HARUS ADA rencana?

Hidup terasa melelahkan. Bahkan menimbang-nimbang pun seakan tidak cukup layak untuk menemukan kepastian. Hanya satu yang saya yakin PASTI.

Suatu hari nanti semua ketidakpastian akan berakhir.
Entah kapan.
Ikuti saja waktu.

PLUS PLUS,
Tessie Setiabudi, M.A, MBA.
Salah satu pembicara dalam sebuah seminar Training for Excelence berkata
"Fokuskan target anda kemudian loncatlah. Tidak perlu pedulikan berapa kali anda butuh meloncat atau bagaimana anda meloncat? Loncatlah secepat dan sejauh yang anda bisa sebelum waktu anda habis hanya untuk berpikir"

"Tetap berkarya dan jangan lengah"

Share it :

Look, there's no quotes said "PLAN YOUR SUCCESS". So, am I right ?
Still wondering anyway ;)

Quotes Of The Day

"Relax and Enjoy. It's your life, live it and love it."
sixtysix

Start to love yourself :)

Holiday Expression !

YUMMIIIEEEE DUMMIIEEEE !! WOHHOOOO ~
(over reacting immediately :P)

Well, I love listing.

Why? Because :|
Uhm, I don't know.
I just LOVE IT !

So, this one for my holiday list. Ignore it if you started feeling sick even from the very first line ( I hope you're not :( , sorry before).

List : 4 Reason why I LOVE holiday :D
1. I could wake up late, even late in the afternoon (if my mom doesn't calling me badly for times! Sigh~) Wow, it's a fact that I HATE to wake up early in the morning for school. Not just because the "school" word comes to the things about studying, learning, tasks, tests, or something sounds terrible like that. It's also success to pushing my mood to the minimum level. Again, I LOVE HOLIDAY !

2. I would never ever stressed because of the tasks or the test. Hahaha. They always make my day darkened when I realized that "Today, I have a task, no, even more tasks and tests." CRAP ! So, holiday is the key to the freedom. Lalalalalala~

3. I would enjoy my life. Even just for days or weeks, it would brighten up my mood and mind. SURELY, it is ! I still LOVE holiday, even though I'll be at home along holiday. I have so much to do; watching, reading, hanging out, chatting, anything! So, I would never had an excuse to let myself down.

4. EVERYONE SEEMED LOVE IT, SO DO I !!


Again, List : 4 To-Dos for my-five-weeks-holiday-but-have been-cut-by-1 week-MOS-before-first day school-and-2 weeks-before-the result's-coming up (total my holiday = 2 weeks ! DAMN CRAP!).

1. Relaxing
2. Relaxing
3. Relaxing
4. Relaxing

Well, I didn't find any idea besides relaxing, anyway. I admit that I treated my time miserably, but may I, please? Hmmm, after a year in a mess, I should make it up. First to do is relax, right? (hahaha)

Anyway, I still should say this to you :D

Love Isn't

Love isn't blind; sometimes, you see something physically
Love isn't crazy; sometimes, you know that you're sane enough to love
Love doesn't give you happiness; sometimes, it hurts you much more than before
Love doesn't save your smile; sometimes, it cannot stop your tears falling down

But the truly love makes you understand what is pureness all about
You don't know why; neither you love her, nor you love him, nor you love them
You don't know how to treat someone or people exactly

You let yourself down

But you still believe that
you're in the right way
Sometimes, it's all because your heart say so

Me = Mizzwhateva

Surely, I'm that girl ! :)
So, visit my last blog http://mizzwhateva.wordpress.com sometimes there.

Uhm, myb there will no new entry anymore, because I'm right here ! On BLOGGER, being apart of the most popular site of blogging. And I love my new blog (at least the design of my page is interesting for me- haha). So, I'll keep writing, hope me best !

Love you {(♥)}