Miracle's On The Way

I've been searching for something in this life.
I'm still thinking about something vague.
I'll be something for this world.
Something I don't even know.
Something I still wondering what it is.

But I knew, God made me for one, or maybe million, small thing.
But I knew, God let me FIND those small things.
But I knew, God arrange my way.
No doubt, I really believe he sent me miracle all the time. I just didn't realize it.

What happened, what's happening, and what will happen, I dont care. As long as I know I'm still living and being me. I'll ready to make a brighter future because God said so about human that we are created for one mission, develop this world until it's being greater and more promisable to be lived.

I curious sometimes, what's in my head? I'm changing all the time. My mood is going up and down fast. Throw me to the fact that I'm just human. I make sins. I do bad things. But still, I'm the absolute owner of my life until I die someday.

People, you know you worth to be living. Why punish yourself for being nothing. For having a thing, there should be nothing. Be good and try to be better. There's no punishment for living. There's just punishment for them who live disgusting.

I want to be good, better, and be someone someday somewhere somehow I ready to be, according to God's plan.

Shit but Sweet

No shit what sweet. But I got my shit what sweet in this case.

I have too many things to do these fucking busy days. Yeah, too many. Let's make a list. (Oh, how I miss a list!)

1. School
2. Tests
3. Tasks
4. Homeworks
5. Lessons outside school
6. Some HOME works (my last maid quits. Poor.)

Well, maybe it's just a SIX-LIST. But when you go on your life with that SIX-LIST, you'll feel terrible. Yeah, it's terrible enough for me now. And those are what I call it shits.

Don't say : "Well, college life is more suck than yours". "Work is worse." "Unemployee is nothing terrible comparing to yours." NO NO NO ! Please don't say any comment or words what comparing my lists to yours. It's different.

First, UNFORTUNATELY, I'm just a messy, silly, 17 years old girl. I've never felt college life, working to earn money, nor being you. It's just my list, my business, and my terrible days.

I know, when life's moving on, everything will be worse and messier. But for me now, my days are unstoppable, even for making up my dirty and untidy room !

Back to the topic. These shits, I mean, these routine isn't killing me like usual. I feel it sweet. I really feel like I'm in a tournament. If I fall, I'll fail. If I keep running, I'll win. It's conditionals and depends on me. I love it. Really.

That's my first "REASON". The second reason is, I've been being so sweet in school. I do every tasks, well done in every single tests, and I got my schedule messy but still OK. I feel like I'm living. Idk, when was the last time you feel as your dream and your future went along together and you're near to it.. It's my opinion and wishes now :)

What is tomorrow.

Last night, I was hesitating about things in my life when I couldn't fall asleep for hours. It's really tiring to wondering something that I don't know how to do either.

I was wondering if I couldn't meet someone who move my heart softly.
I was wondering if I couldn't be succeed and let her parents proud, even less for making herself proud.
And how about if everything I've arranged and dreamt is failed then I'll be nothing.

I don't know what will come tomorrow. It's mystery. I don't know how to make myself precious either. It's a way that I couldn't see. And I don't know whatever in case of tomorrow. I'll just walking by and trying to do my best. Whatever it will turn out in the end, everyone should believe their own intuition, right?

Why Jealous and How To Fight It?

I don't know why I should cry today and let myself under pressure. It's the most stupid thing along this holiday weeks. And I regret it so much.

Well, some people said, "Planted jealousy means you will suicide yourself soon."
I agreed. Jealousy is one of that damn things who always come to our mind. Who's never? I don't believe if someone tell me that he/she never have this feeling. Well, we talk about normal people, right? Normal people always comparing between theirs and someone else's. It stupid, but it's like a natural law. People compete to win everything in this life. It's NORMALLY NORMAL.

If we win this or that or these or those competition, everything will be alright.
How about if we lost? We failed? Or how about if I LOST? How about if whatever I arranged is FAILED? Will the competition ended by the JEALOUSY?

Some people say YES.
And unfortunately, I'm one who answered that "YES".

Jealous hurts so much. It will make your day turned unwell. When it's happening, what would we do? Don't find any answer yet? Then, this is my answer.

I MOTIVATE MYSELF TO HAVE BETTER, TO REACH HIGHER, TO BE THE BEST.

Unfortunately, that's the only way. I can't fight my jealousy. It will grow faster and higher. Then I know I have to win the things I've been jealous to and catch the best for me. Why? Because I need to win.

And I'll try to do my best, to win it someday. SOMEDAY.
I'll learn much more than everyone did.
I'll do better than everyone tried.
I'll struggle harder than everyone fought on.
I will. Someday. Reach everything. I wish...

Heart for Earth

Watch then Learn.



Even a girl could have an unbelievable speech about earth ! 12 years old, anyway. And why don't we start to be the next one? No, please don't keep watching or wondering. Do something! Whatever it is. Change the future. You're the only one who arrange the next generation's future. Really.

1. Turn off your air conditioner
2. Unplug the power cord which wasn't be used.
3. STOP SMOKING !
4. Travel here and there by no-motor vehicle,more over if you use a hybrid vehicle
5. Love the animals and be sure to save them.
6. Change the habit using plastic bags into paper bags.
and many many mooorreee..
You should check this out !
How To Stop Global Warming
The owner of that blog is a boy who dreaming for a better earth and a better life.

A Little Thing Such A Devil

I've ever wondered about sort of too-high-level things. -About fashion, culinary, traveling, shopping, treatments, salon, make up, technology, anything about modern lifestyle.

Q : Am I into it?
A : Hmm, not really.

Q : But am I want it?
A : YES really, really :x

I cannot stop amazed with a little devil named MONEY. It handles everything in this world, even a man. How can money imprison people like just what happen lately? I don't know, maybe it's the most scary devil I've ever met (even though I've never met one, haha). Looks like money have an ability to measure one's standard. The much money one's had, the more higher their standard. CRAP!

It was sooo epic. Honestly !

I don't love money, for sure. But I need money. Everyone in the world knows and wants money, include me.

Q : When people need money, will them sacrifice anything to get it?
A : Yes, some people will.

Q : But how about us? Can we handle ourself from the attractiveness of money?
A : I cant be until now.

Ehm, I dont know yet how to make it simple. Money messed and will mess up life. There's no way out. The only to-dos are survive and through.

Q : Will high-level things affect to the future?
A : Mostly say YES.

If it occurs, the gap will be mooore visible than today's. And there will be no peace, because everyone try to be "the more richer the more higher" one.
Money has no end.