Why Jealous and How To Fight It?

I don't know why I should cry today and let myself under pressure. It's the most stupid thing along this holiday weeks. And I regret it so much.

Well, some people said, "Planted jealousy means you will suicide yourself soon."
I agreed. Jealousy is one of that damn things who always come to our mind. Who's never? I don't believe if someone tell me that he/she never have this feeling. Well, we talk about normal people, right? Normal people always comparing between theirs and someone else's. It stupid, but it's like a natural law. People compete to win everything in this life. It's NORMALLY NORMAL.

If we win this or that or these or those competition, everything will be alright.
How about if we lost? We failed? Or how about if I LOST? How about if whatever I arranged is FAILED? Will the competition ended by the JEALOUSY?

Some people say YES.
And unfortunately, I'm one who answered that "YES".

Jealous hurts so much. It will make your day turned unwell. When it's happening, what would we do? Don't find any answer yet? Then, this is my answer.

I MOTIVATE MYSELF TO HAVE BETTER, TO REACH HIGHER, TO BE THE BEST.

Unfortunately, that's the only way. I can't fight my jealousy. It will grow faster and higher. Then I know I have to win the things I've been jealous to and catch the best for me. Why? Because I need to win.

And I'll try to do my best, to win it someday. SOMEDAY.
I'll learn much more than everyone did.
I'll do better than everyone tried.
I'll struggle harder than everyone fought on.
I will. Someday. Reach everything. I wish...